The Truthiness, The Whole Truthiness and Nothing But The Truthiness

Truthiness noun – 1) the quality of preferring concepts or facts one wishes to be true, rather than concepts or facts known to be true; 2) truth that comes from the gut not books

“The truth only carries so much weight. What we believe to be the truth will trump the actual truth every time.” – Cuda

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The above quote summarizes, in a nutshell, AA’s approach to recovery — or their approach to almost anything else for that matter. There is a reason why the endless debates which take place in our comment section will never be end, and that is because the two sides are playing with different points of reference – with one relying on logic, skepticism and rational thought; and the other relying on what they want to believe.

 

Ninth Stepping With Tiger Woods

We knew it would come, and after three months of laying low, Tiger Woods has come out with his 9th step mea culpa. With all the sincerity of a guy who got caught, Tiger decided to make amends to those to those for whom he could give a shit before his harem of homewreckers came crawling out of the woodwork looking for their fifteen minutes. It was beautiful to watch. He listed out those he had harmed, invoked his religious philosophy, and with hand on heart, promised to keep it in his pants from now on.

It was a well crafted apology, hitting the points any good amends will contain, and though it didn’t include the required slogans and aphorisms – most likely because those editing it had not been conditioned by twelve-step programming – it was still unilateral,  as is any good amends letter, with reporters being disallowed from asking questions. Once Tiger begins to speak openly and off the cuff, the slogans should come rolling with ease of anyone subjected to 45 days on in-house rehab is able to do.

I must confess that I am ignorant of sex addiction treatment. Unlike standard 12-Step drug and alcohol treatment, sex addiction is not treated with complete abstinence. This would not be a problem for most guys in Tiger’s situation, considering the fact that he is married to a smoking hot Swede, and his trysts (at least the ones who went public) were with mostly butterfaced* skank. My guess is that Tiger would be a good candidate for Moderation Management. That might teach him that if he can’t keep it in his pants, he can at least keep it in his family — and he would not be subject to another humiliating episode of making a public amends.

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*Butterface - Her body ain't bad, but 'er face needs some work.

 

Quote of the Day

“… Here’s some further stats for you ~ those who claim AA doesn’t work, are typically boozers who don’t want to work the program, because like it or not, that program works if you work it…end of story.”

– Live n Let Liv, AA, responding to a review of the book The Heart of Addiction by Lance Dodes

 

Quote of the Day

“I’ve heard this argument before and it rubs me the wrong way each time. No one has to go to AA/NA, they can refuse the drug court and go to jail instead if their [sic] that against having to say the word “God”. They should be happy their getting a second chance at all. You would never get a secular program passed in the courts. The religious rights of someone that was caught with a handfull of crack is that last thing on anyones mind.”

– jbit, explaining in a conversation about whether or not compelling a person to attend AA breaks the establishment clause of the U.S. Constitution, and that a person being coerced into AA really does have a choice: It’s either go to AA, or go jail. Therefore, it is not forced.

Note: Notice jbit writes “you would never get a secular program passed in the courts”. Secular? I thought AA was secular. This slip of the tongue happens all the time from a group that claims to be non-religious.

 

More Fun With Numbers

One common thing that AAs do who enter the effectiveness of AA debate, is cite ridiculous sources, or information they do not fully understand. This is the case today with a regular reader of the blog, McGowdog, who cut and pasted from a paper that was written by three AAs, including Glenn Chestnut, who once wrote this about AA:

“…unbelievers will quickly start running you around in logical circles which you will never get out of — so I don’t even try to defend it rationally and logically.”

He was not kidding, either. He and his two cohorts came up with this review of AA’s triennial survey’s. Logical, it was not. It was obviously not written by academics who understand how to interpret the data properly. When I first read this, its conclusions were so far off base, that I gave it to some cohorts of mine at Harvard who specialize in such things. I thought maybe I was missing something. They dismissed it as “junk science”, and we actually wrote about this here last April: How Alcoholics Anonymous Lies With Statistics. It summarizes the way the data in this review was manipulated.

Most of what McGowdog wrote below is plagiarized from this paper. This is another piece of fool’s gold for someone who desperately wants to believe the steps are effective. One rule to remember in reading this: academic language does not make a paper academic.

 

Step 9: Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

When Richard Heene, part time pseudo-scientist and full time wingnut, set his balloon adrift above the skies of Colorado and falsely claimed that his six-year old son was inside the thing, he did so with the expectation that he would not get caught. When he eventually did get caught, he made what appeared to be a heartfelt apology when, choking back tears, he said in court, “I want to apologize to all the rescue workers out there and the people who got involved in the community.” A month later he told Larry King, “It wasn’t a hoax.” He then went on to explain to Larry that his courtroom apology had been misinterpreted, and he wasn’t apologizing for trying to dupe the world, but was apologizing for causing people such an inconvenience. I’m not sure if this guy is a narcissist or a sociopath. I’m not a shrink, and there is a lot of wiggle room in diagnosing him. One thing I know for certain is that he is self serving, and his apology didn’t ring true to me, even before he pulled his 180 apology reversal on the Larry King show. Some things a person just knows, I knew that Balloon Man was only sorry that he got caught.

We see this type of public display of contrition with a lot with sports figures who get caught cheating, or public figures who get their hands caught in the cookie jar (or other their body parts caught in…well, you know). Mark McGwire, Eliot Spitzer, Mel Gibson, Lindsay Lohan, Charles Barkley, Ted Haggard, Bill Clinton, Jimmy Swaggart and John Edwards are among a long list of famous people who looked us squarely in the eye and told how sorry they were. Tiger Woods will be added to that list once he speaks to his handlers and public relations firm, who will advise him on how sorry he needs to be. The one thing they have in common is that they weren’t sorry until they got caught doing whatever dastardly thing it was that got them into a pickle in the first place. It is much like the time back when I was in grade five, and I got caught sneaking under Becky Johnson’s desk to get a peek up her skirt and at her unmentionables. Our teacher, Miss Scarborough, forced me to confront Becky and apologize. Sure, I was sorry – sorry that I got caught.

 

Bring it.

Do you boys want me to pull this goddamn internet over? Because I sweardagod I will pull it over right now! Do not test me. I will stop the whole internet right here and end you all.

[An imagine of my mom just popped into my head: Trying to steer the car with one hand, swerving all over the road, while she flails her arm in the back seat trying to smack us around… and we’d laugh our heads off, while she got more pissed off trying to make contact. This was before booster seats and seat belts, so we could ninja. God, that was funny. I am about to become my mother, so hold onto your hat.]

 So!

 I’m glad to see Danny back – especially since I invited him back. I didn’t just invite him, I badgered him. (Yeah, tell me with a straight face you’re not glad he indulged me.)

 

An Angry, Deluded, Misguided Narcissist Rants

I’m bemused… Remember that Darren Littlejohn piece on the Huffington Post? I posted about it below, and called it “Takes One to Know One” in reference to the title of the piece in question, “The 12 Steps: An Antidote For Celebrities and other Narcissistic Addicts.” As someone who misses every opportunity to shut up, I went after it in the comments section.  So, I expect that if I’m going to do the old “you’re projecting” thing, I’m going to get it right back, which I did. And I totally asked for it. And when I got it, I asked for some clarification from the commenter who diagnosed me, because I thought it would be interesting to hear an AA explain to me how I had proven myself to be a narcissist via the content of my posts.

Here’s the sub-thread in question:

 

Do The Steps or Die

 

A Few Minutes With AAndy Rooney

Did you ever notice that AA has a slogan for every eventuality?

Are you feeling lonely? AA has a slogan for that. Resentful? Yeah, there’s a slogan for that. Angry? AA has lots of slogans for that one.

It seems like they have a slogan for any circumstance, or any question that could pop up. Heck, they even have a slogan for slogans: “Slogans are wisdom, written in shorthand”. It’s enough to make your head spin.

I’ve never been a big fan of slogans myself. I don’t think they are wise at all. To me, they are lazy, and even contradictory. Sure, the early bird catches the worm; but patience is a virtue. And I know know I should take what I want and leave the rest, but I also have to do the steps or die (I don’t do the steps, ‘cuz I figure I’ll die anyway, whether I do the steps or not).

I have an old Army buddy named Phil who joined AA. We were pretty close — until he joined AA and started talking in slogans. I told him I didn’t like this new AA Phil. I liked the old Phil, even if he did drunk dial my wife, and throw up in the back of my Lincoln Town car once when I drove him home from a party. I stood by Phil during some bad times, but he likes his new AA friends better. They told him I was a bad influence (They probably don’t like 60 Minutes. They are probably more into that Catch a Predator show. I can see why, because I know a number of the sex predators caught on that show got sent to AA, and are now part of Phil’s new family).

Phil told me he has this disease, and that I have it, too. I don’t think I have it. I know my prostate is now bigger than a grapefruit, but I can feel that. I told Phil that he might be wrong about this one, but he told me that denial is one of the symptoms, and that I have a disease that tells me I don’t have a disease. When I told that didn’t make much sense to me, he told me that I need a check up from the neck up.

I told Phil that I was a little resentful that he had abandoned his old friends. He suggested I start my own AA meeting to take care of that, and that all I needed was a resentment and a coffee pot. I thought that sounded a little dumb, but I didn’t tell Phil. He looked too proud of that statement, like he had made it up himself. Then he told me that the road to sobriety is a simple journey for confused people with a complicated disease.

I think PhiI is now crazy. I want my friend back. I wonder if there is a slogan for that.