The following has not been written, edited or endorsed by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, AA’s General Service Office, nor AA’s Board of Directors. It is simply my humble offering to a fellowship whose sole purpose (as per its own ‘Preamble’) is “to stay sober and help other alcoholics to achieve sobriety.”
I fully intend to forward these ‘suggestions’ to AAWS for their review.
The following “12 Rights For New-Comers To AA/12-Step” are merely suggestions, and should not be considered the province of ‘new-comers’ only. Even if “personal recovery depends on AA unity” (Tradition 1), AA is nothing without the individual ‘person’.
As a new-comer, you are sure to hear the phrase, “It’s a selfish program” within your first 90 days. With that in mind, let’s enumerate the rights you have as an individual within AA or any similar 12-step program:
1 – You have the right to trust yourself and place your own emotional, physical, & spiritual well-being above all things; although you may truly believe that it is, indeed, ‘insanity’ (or the ‘insanity’ of your alcoholism, drug addiction, etc.) that brought you to the 12-Step community, and you may truly believe that only an external ‘higher power’ can save you — you must know that within you an inherent spark of goodness and rationality resides; you trusted your decision to turn to 12-Step — now trust that there is goodness within you & you can draw upon it.
2 – You have the right to protect your own emotional, physical, & spiritual well-being at any and all costs; in the course of your own recovery always remember: “Primum non nocere” — first, do no harm, least of all to yourself.
3 – You have the right to look with a critical eye & ear toward your own discourse, the discourse of the program in which you are involved, and the discourse of the groups you attend; it’s written & often noted aloud, “It’s a program of suggestions” — suggestions you can take or leave according to your own better judgment; truth is found only after long deliberation & it often changes with the passage of time.
4 – You have the right to believe or disbelieve anything you want; again, “It’s a program of suggestions” — only you will know what is ‘true’ for you … at any time or in any situation.
5 – You have the right to use discretion when speaking aloud — whether privately or in a meeting; you may be “as sick as your secrets” but you’re also as vulnerable as you allow yourself to be; choose your words & the venue in which you speak them aloud advisedly.
6 – You have the right to go at your own pace; it’s “A day at a time” right? nothing and no one can ‘make’ you ‘entirely ready’ to do anything; trust & have faith in yourself — any loving ‘higher power’ would grant you that gift first & foremost.
7 – You have the right to acknowledge & honor your own strengths — even while ‘asking for the removal of your shortcomings’; the simple act of asking for the ‘removal of your shortcomings’ takes more than simple humility; it takes great inner reserve & courage.
8 – You have the right to put yourself right at the top of the list of people you may have harmed & are willing to make amends to; the word ‘amend’ is a verb which means “to put things right”; get right with yourself first & getting right with others will be of far less effort.
9 – You have the right to trust yourself & your better judgment when it comes to ‘making amends’; sometimes the best way to make things right is to simply leave things as they are; sometimes a wish for someone’s health, happiness, & prosperity is far more appropriate than an overwrought, unwelcome letter of apology.
10 – You have the right not to be a doormat; there’s no better advice than, “Check your own damned self!”; still, your life & your actions are things to approach with joy & creativity; express sorrow & apology only when you feel that it’s the right thing to do — not for every tiny, unexpected blunder; you’re human for higher power’s sake! you’re going to f**k up sometimes & that’s just part of the human condition; chin up, smile, move on.
11 – You have the right embrace & practice your faith as you see fit, as well as the right not to do so; these days, even hard science is acknowledging the benefits of ‘mindful meditation’ … but I ain’t the boss of you and neither is your sponsor, your group, or the Big Book; if you’re staying sober and bringing good things to yourself and the people around you, then you’re doing the right thing … period.
12 – You have the right to share or withhold your experience, strength, & hope; helping people when they’re down (alcoholic, drug addict, what the hell ever) is just the right thing to do — when you’re strong enough & best able to do so; ‘carrying a message’ isn’t nearly the act of courage and compassion that the act of simply listening is; if you know that someone is hurting themselves then let them know that you know it; if you strongly suspect someone is seriously on the verge of taking their own life (through inadvertent or explicit actions) then it’s your legal duty to alert the authorities; don’t let anyone tell you that “You can’t keep a drunk/drug addict from killing themselves. Only God can do that.”; you are your brothers’ keeper … deal with it.
I’m not holding my breath for the printing & distribution of a third ‘lampshade’. But the above was written with sincerity, humility, and an earnest wish to offer strength and ease to any AA ‘new-comer’ … or any AA/12-Step member for that matter. Acknowledge the divinity within yourself and you will be free.
Stinkin' Thinkin' 
July 8, 2009 at 1:46 am
Hear! Hear!
July 8, 2009 at 2:09 am
h,
thanks. that means a lot coming from you — and that is meant with great sincerity.
this was one from the heart and i’m honored by your encouragement.
speedy
September 23, 2009 at 3:47 pm
Thank you, this list is awesome and also totally answers my question from the “Resistance is Futile” post. Great suggestions, all.
July 8, 2009 at 2:14 am
You are welcome. You described it well. It is good advice
That was, basically, my MO while in AA.
And, the MO for many in AA.
I dothink that GSO & AAWS do need a copy. I would e mail it and by regular mail.
July 8, 2009 at 3:10 am
Hey, Speedy. Good stuff, and I do hope you kick it on up the AA line. As membership declines, and the emperor’s suit of new clothes become more and more evident, the old “if it ain’t broke” non-rationale becomes increasingly transparent. AA must do a rigorous self-inventory, or it will gradually go the way of the Odd Fellows, Knights of Pythias, Oxford Group, and Washingtonians (whom it so fondly and favorably contrasts itself with). Its weaknesses, many which you have hit upon very nicely, continue to become more widely-known. Mike BD
July 8, 2009 at 5:00 am
mike,
sent to the grapevine & the regional office of AA.
speedy
July 10, 2009 at 4:50 am
I’ll let you know what our Hazeldon trained substance abuse counselor has to say about it tomorrow.
October 28, 2009 at 3:20 pm
Yes this is good speedster. I particularily like your steps 11 and 12. Each persons faith (or lack of)should be and is their own. And if I find carrying the message might hinder my own sobriety then I wouldnt do it.
I do have to point out that the oxford group is still alive however, http://www.iniativesofchange.org
take care
October 28, 2009 at 3:22 pm
http://www.iofc.org
July 8, 2009 at 3:16 am
I and everyone else already have these rights – in an AA meeting, in an AA group, in Walmart, in a carwash. Why would I or anyone else need them to be assigned in this manner by anyone?
Speedy, had you not been aware of these rights and others when you were attending AA meetings?
July 8, 2009 at 4:32 am
danny,
annazed beat me to the punch … and did a damned good job of it.
still, your capacity for disingenuousness is astounding.
frankly, i was NOT aware of these rights while attending meetings & there were many, many obstacles (in the books, in the rhetoric, in the demands from sponsors & old-timers) put in my path to keep from discerning these rights within the context of ‘the program’. i had to piece them together for myself. and, after doing so, i left.
i am happy with that decision now. i know i will be even happier with it in the future.
you know that. it would take less than five minutes for me to cull through your responses on this blog alone to demonstrate how utterly full of shit you are with this off-hand reply.
i’m actually glad you didn’t close your reply with your usual canned “peace”. that sentiment from you is as empty as it might be coming from dick cheney. your commentary is like the clanging of pots & pans from a 4 year old — stupid, self-involved, attempts at recognition.
you’ve got my attention simply because MA & ftg allow your balderdash to litter this blog. knowing that you are in this world perhaps actually bringing influence to the lives others frightens & sickens me.
the latin root for the word ‘spirit’ comes from ‘spiritus’ — courage, vigor, the animating breath. that is real spirit — not the pie-in-the-sky bullshit you bought wholesale from bill wilson. that is the spirit that i want to set free in those in or out of AA.
that is the spirit empty-heads like you look to crush. you insist on the necessity of ‘steps’ yet denigrate the explicit allowance of ‘rights’.
thanks for yet more dull-witted, contradictory bulls**t. now go get a friggin’ haircut.
speedy
July 8, 2009 at 7:23 pm
Amen.
July 9, 2009 at 12:29 pm
Good morning, Danny…Speedy has already responded to you, but I don’t mind being redundant.
No, we don’t really have these rights in AA. I disagree with you. I’m looking at Speedy’s list here:
1 – You have the right to trust yourself and place your own emotional, physical, & spiritual well-being above all things; No, I was constantly undermined and discouraged from trusting myself. I was told that the only thing an alcoholic knows how to do is drink, and that to trust myself and put my own well-being first was my alcoholism talking, and that I would soon be drunk.
2 – You have the right to protect your own emotional, physical, & spiritual well-being at any and all costs; No, I was told that to do that is to refuse to turn my will and life over. Want to get sober? Do as you’re told!
3 – You have the right to look with a critical eye & ear toward your own discourse, the discourse of the program in which you are involved, and the discourse of the groups you attend; No, you do NOT question the program or the fellowship. You’re just looking for an excuse to drink.
4 – You have the right to believe or disbelieve anything you want; What a joke! I was subjected to vicious pressure to get gawd. Don’t make me laugh! Yes, they tell you you can believe what you want; but if you don’t make at least an appearance of believing what AA wants you to believe, you get trashed.
5 – You have the right to use discretion when speaking aloud — whether privately or in a meeting; I felt high pressure to confess. Not confessing was not a “right”. It was up to me to resist the pressure.
6 – You have the right to go at your own pace; Ummm, there are some pretty pushy sponsors out there.
7 – You have the right to acknowledge & honor your own strengths — even while ‘asking for the removal of your shortcomings’; Oh come on! If I fail, it’s my own defective character. If I succeed, it’s gawd. I was strongly pressured to not take any credit for any strengths at all. Gawd got ALL the credit.
8 – You have the right to put yourself right at the top of the list of people you may have harmed & are willing to make amends to; there was a very little debate once about this. But nobody ever saw it as a right.
9 – You have the right to trust yourself & your better judgment when it comes to ‘making amends’; I was to trust both my sponsor and the beegbuk which told me I was to make amends to the person who abused me. I was at fault for objecting to the abuse. (When I made the amend, I got abused once again.)
10 – You have the right not to be a doormat; that’s not what my sponsor told me. He pressured me to serve, serve, serve, no matter how much it inconvenienced me and put me out. Finally I said No.
11 – You have the right embrace & practice your faith as you see fit, as well as the right not to do so; Baloney!! Just try being the Token Atheist. And yes, I know, there are plenty of people who will tell you that atheists can get sober in AA. Shucks, I was one of them. But what people do NOT acknowledge is how we have to play word games and “interpret to mean” and put up with no end of ugliness and abuse. No, you don’t have the right to practice as you wish. You do it in spite of the abuse.
12 – You have the right to share or withhold your experience, strength, & hope; When I reached three months sobriety, I was sent out to recruit. The idea that I could refuse was not acknowledged. I was the one who answered the phone at 3 AM and did the things other people didn’t want to do.
Y’know, I think I’m disagreeing with my cyberbuddy Speedy here. We do NOT have these “rights” in AA. AA doesn’t give anyone these “rights”. AA isn’t about “rights”.
Rather, we finally get tired of being shoved around and manipulated, and we start saying No in spite of the pressure. If we stick around (and I stuck around for 12+ years), we find ourselves listening less and less to the pushy people. We come in, get a cuppacawfee, sit down and know what to be quiet about and how to not give ourselves away. The more “time” I had, the less I got shoved around.
Don’t wait for AA to give you any “rights”. Hang on to your Self and know when to say No.
July 9, 2009 at 9:04 pm
Whoops! My bad. Speedy didn’t say we DO have these rights. He was saying we OUGHT TO have these rights.
July 9, 2009 at 1:05 pm
“Love and tolerance of others is our code.”
Hard to make out over the shouts of “Take the cotton out of your ears and stull them in your mouth.”
Take people who are at their most vulnerable, place them in a room where a few members with a bit of time have declared themselves gurus, and there are no such things as ‘rights’.
And you know it too Danny.
July 8, 2009 at 3:19 am
How about, you have the right to not go at all?
July 8, 2009 at 4:33 am
tippy,
that’s right 13 ( wink wink, nudge nudge).
speedy
July 8, 2009 at 3:45 am
“11 – You have the right embrace & practice your faith as you see fit, as well as the right not to do so”
“…I and everyone else already have these rights – in an AA meeting, in an AA group.”
Really, aren’t you the one who was honest enough to say that ther
July 8, 2009 at 3:46 am
(sorry my bandaged finger pressed something that submitted the above too fast)
Really (?), aren’t you the one who was honest enough to say that there was no recovery without God?
July 8, 2009 at 12:12 pm
I just noticed the title!! lol and lol squared!
July 8, 2009 at 1:03 pm
Speedy. I thought that was wonderful. I might even attend the occasional meeting to try to entertain the troops if that was adopted. Incisive, humane and reassuring. In my view, entirely unobjectionable. In any resonsible and accountable organisation dedicated to helping vulnerable people, I don’t think your suggestions would arouse any hostility or provoke any controversy. Many charities and even quite a few non-charitable organisations and commercial concerns already give broadly comparable assurances to potect individual privacy and autonomy. I think a large number of people attending aa meetings would welcome them.
July 8, 2009 at 1:26 pm
I would like to see these rights posted on the walls of rehab centers next to (never mind, instead of) the 12 steps. Great job speedy!
July 8, 2009 at 1:45 pm
PS Your suggestions would, I think, logically make whether people attending aa meetings repected the contents big book and other aa-approved literature as the source of their recovery and whether they practiced the 12 step program a clear matter of personal choice. It would probably lead to a schism in aa, with like-minded people who welcomed them leaving to form less dogmatic meetings with little or no reference to the steps, or joining secular recovery support groups. I think, on the whole, this would be a good thing, or at least an improvement on the statusquo.
The aging hard-core steppers would remain in hardcore big book 12 step meetings course and still recruit the occasional prospect, but they wouldn’t have to put up with heretics in their meetings, neither would the heretics feel coerced and oppressed in their own groups. Surely, at meeting membership level at least, everybody should be happy with it.
July 8, 2009 at 2:45 pm
I like the concept, however it will take a good deal more than a trifold pamphlet to stop the mentally ill from preying upon one another. Keep in mind the “leaders” would have to supply them at the meeting. The odds of that are slim at best. They already have traditions that are ignored. This unfortunately would be cast aside as new AA or if used blamed for the continued failure of persons attempting to alter their behavior.
It is a great idea for a complete redesign of the established treatment system. AA is so very broken that much of it cannot even be used for parts. I am convinced that removal from association with the court system and goverment sponsored health care policies, as defined by their own traditions, is the course that must be taken. We stopped treating illness with mercury and leeches years ago, germ theory has been proven correct. Medical quackery of this magnitude in this century and in this era of health care reform is unexcusable.
Take the time to write your Judiciary and Congress persons regarding this topic. Include links to the articles you have found. Illustrate how their traditions are in agreement with separation from these enties.
July 8, 2009 at 3:18 pm
Yes, uberdog, I tend to agree with that. It’s easy for me to forget I have the luxury of living in a country (UK) where 12 stepppism has not (yet!!!) infiltrated the medical and judicial establishments to anything like the same extent as in the USA. But I am very concerned and it would be foolish to be complacent. I regard the aa ideology as a fundamental assault on personal freedom and autonomy.
July 8, 2009 at 3:47 pm
uberdog,
thanks for the suggestion.
i’ll get on it ASAP for the NYC & surrounding area.
speedy
July 8, 2009 at 7:27 pm
No law can change the human heart. Unless AA and for that matter the Judiciary and Congress rediscover the value of simply being a human being and caring for each other, I do not see how we will make it. AA is not the problem, its problems are but a symptom of the larger issue of building a world on fear and judgment rather than loving kindness.
peace and much love to you all
July 8, 2009 at 7:33 pm
dale,
thanks for taking the time to read & to add to the discussion. coming from you, “peace & much love” i know is genuine.
right back at ya,
speedy
October 28, 2009 at 2:43 pm
We stopped treating illness with mercury and leeches years ago???
Nope, we still use leeches to stimulate skin grafts.
Medical quackery of this magnitude in this century and in this era of health care reform is unexcusable???
Nope, we still use ECT shock therapy.
July 8, 2009 at 3:28 pm
This is great, Speedy, and I expected that “who said you don’t have those rights?” from the AA… Ugh. But I’m surprised to see Danny giving you the old the “take what you want,” “you can leave any time,” “no one’s forcing you to go,” “program of suggestions,” “Belief in god is not a requirement,” thing.
Yes, of course one has these rights, anywhere and everywhere, but these are rights you will abdicate if you want to get sober through AA or if you want to graduate from “drug court.” .
Hey, Speedy, let’s do a little guerrilla marketing: Keep copies in our backpacks, and tuck a copy of this into all the Big Books in every bookstore we visit.
Thank you!
July 8, 2009 at 3:45 pm
ftg,
already on it. dropped a few printed copies off at the literature table of a meeting i used to regularly make this morning.
i’ll check in soon to see if they last.
speedy
July 8, 2009 at 5:21 pm
Goodgood (as Father Ted would say- do you see him the other side of the pond?) On a lighter note, might I share this thought for the day with you (no. 3.5769)? :
Sin generously brethren, I beseech y’all. For there dwell unrepentant sinnners amongst us. Bow with me now in humble obeisance before the Higher Power.
For thine is the keyhole, the Knob and the knocker
For ever and ever
Amen
July 8, 2009 at 7:10 pm
I wish I had the disposable cash to mock that bill of rights up in a pseudo AA pamphlet form and distribute them at various meeting places. Sort of Fight Club style cultural warfare..
In all seriousness, why doesn’t AA with its long history of abusive members who prey on others financially, mentally and sexually (starting of course with Wilson himself) have something like an AA member’s bill of rights?
July 8, 2009 at 7:13 pm
“with its long history of abusive members who prey on others financially, mentally and sexually (starting of course with Wilson himself)”
I think your answer is inside your question.
July 8, 2009 at 7:16 pm
I don’t usually type the word “duh,” but when addressed to myself I guess it won’t come off as being rude to others.
Duh Anna, duh!
July 8, 2009 at 7:16 pm
Why not a bill of rights?
Pretty obvious:
“The strong do what they will, the weak suffer what they must.”
July 25, 2009 at 11:57 pm
These rights are wonderful.I wish I had access to them when I attended my first AA meeting in my 20’s.I don’t think too many in AA will appreciate them.
September 18, 2009 at 9:55 pm
[…] The Grapevine Gives Me The Kiss-Off & An Open Question Posted on September 18, 2009 by speedy0314 If you’re anything like me (and H[ocus] P[ocus] save you if you are), you’ll be both shocked & amazed to know that ‘The Grapevine’ (The International Journal of Alcoholics Anonymous) gave me the official “thanks, but no thanks” on my submission for publication, “12 Rights For AA New-Comers” (12 Rights For New-Comers To AA/12 Step): […]
November 2, 2009 at 2:14 am
print it up and pass it around. its great your Bill of rights!
September 22, 2009 at 12:43 pm
Got to you from Sponsor Pants and wish you blogged more often.
October 28, 2009 at 5:22 am
c,
wish i did, too. but the subject’s kind of … inflammatory & more than a little boring at this point. AA forcefully & uniformly rejects critique. at it’s core i believe there’s something very humane. but follow the texts, the monies, the lobbying groups, the larger associated ‘agencies’ (e.g., NCADD or ASAM), & you find something institutional & frankly despicable.
i’m tired & more than a little fed up. there are theologians the world over who will deny the divinity of jesus, the miracles of the new testament, the resurrection, etc. — they all have a place within the christian establishment.
point out one thing that organizational AA could be addressing better (e.g., the rampant practice of 13th stepping) or the inherent lies (yes, i said “lies”) that are published as fact in the big book (e.g., the details of bill’s own story when meeting dr. bob; the over-arching influence of the oxford group philosophy, etc.) & you’re branded a ‘dry-drunk’ heretic & cast from the fold.
fine. i’m happier in the real world.
i’ve always been hesitant about applying the ‘cult’ term to AA … but in a lot of ways the shoe does seem to fit. for some, it’s a shoe that helps them walk the path of a better life. for most, that’s hardly the case.
and there’s plenty of studies to back that up.
take care,
speedy
October 26, 2009 at 12:50 am
2 Years in the program and I’m lucky enough not to have experienced he horrors that probably would have prompted this list. Still, I think A.A. needs it – or something like it. There are just too many stories of new people in a fog leaving their judgement at the door….. and those who are willing to take advantage of them. Since the only requirement to be a member of A.A. is a desire to stop drinking, we unfortunately can’t exclude the fringe – and it’s good to remember that.
Thanks for the food-for-thought.
October 28, 2009 at 5:08 am
rocky,
you’re welcome.
that’s it. that’s all i’ve got. one man’s personal opinon (although the bulk of the scientific data seems to back me up), but AA reinforces more socially aberrant behavior then it rectifies. you might stay ‘sober’ (and — statistically speaking — that’s a big ‘might’) but you’ll never really ‘grow’ in an environment that insists that you’re inherently ‘sinful’, ‘insane’ or ‘defective’.
there are many step adherents who will tell me i’ve got it all backwards, but i’ve read the texts & i’ve done the [quote] work [/unquote] … multiple times. it’s an emotional circle jerk, that provides you with nothing but a truly neurotic fear of self (‘ego’ in AA lingo).
AA is a piss-ant religion that won’t even turn a critical, canonical eye toward its own mythos. that’s the real reason why it will never catch on — with alcoholics or anyone seeking a “spiritual awakening”. it’s ‘god-paint-by-numbers’ — too fearful of real introspection to truly open itself to historians. there’s no ‘there there’ — just two drunken goofs talking to each other & keeping themselves from drinking. [g]od is more than extraneous in the case of AA — he’s practically jerry-rigged into the whole ‘program’.
you saw a weather balloon. i saw a ufo. i wrote a book about it & you just kept your mouth shut & died.
sound familiar?
speedy
October 28, 2009 at 2:47 pm
Since the only requirement to be a member of A.A. is a desire to stop drinking, we unfortunately can’t exclude the fringe???
I hate to think of those who refuse to identify as an alcoholic and be indoctrinated into the cult as “the fringe”.
October 29, 2009 at 4:07 pm
anon,
‘the only requirement …’ big-tent statement of the AA preamble is, frankly, IMHO something of a dodge. it — much like it’s ‘i am responsible’ cousin — emerged much later, after bill’s poppycock & larger neurotic vision had been published & institutionalized.
wilson is AA’s saul of tarsus. his word IS the AA canon. the preamble [in its entirety] is neither printed in the big book, 12X12, or even ‘living sober’. the preamble is a truly secular, inclusive statement of purpose — a very inviting credo. but after enough meetings, it becomes clear to anyone what AA is really about: sobriety = spirituality & spirituality means … whatever the hell you, your sponsor, or any crackpot at any meeting tells you it means (i.e., it’s utterly empty of meaning).
i’m not looking to start a flame-fest, but AA institutionally & at the group level uses ‘the only requirement’ preamble/traditions inclusion as its penultimate ‘get out of jail free’ card to excuse bad behavior & scientific & philosophical atrophy.
thanks,
speedy
October 29, 2009 at 8:41 pm
Speedy do you know when the preamble was first brought into AA? Or anyone else for that matter?
Thanks
October 30, 2009 at 3:39 pm
joe,
first published in the grapevine in 1947, the preamble was edited so as to say “a desire to stop drinking” rather than an “honest desire to stop drinking” (again, bill’s ghost haunts everything) in 1958. it’s right around then that it’s adopted for reading at open meetings & not long after that it becomes part of the way just about every AA meeting gets started.
i attended for 7 years & never went to a meeting where the preamble wasn’t read as part of opening the meeting.
if you’re interested, here’s GSO official version:
Click to access smf-127_en.pdf
take care,
speedy
October 30, 2009 at 10:04 pm
In my later passes through the rooms, I always called it “the pre-ramble”. Never got called on it.
February 17, 2010 at 3:12 am
If the program is followed, in theory, those people should wash themselves out – as we recovered alcoholics would not have what they want.
In practice, these people often end up finding people like themselves in the program, and over time meetings pop up where these people congregate. They call themselves AA members, but they’re really not. They’re something different and insidious. Good sponsors steer new people away from these groups. It seems often when I read anti-AA ranting, it’s really these unhealthy AA dynamics that are being ranted against. Recovered alcoholics don’t believe in controlling (or being controlled by) other people.
Speedy – you have your way, I have mine. As long as your way is working for you, it’s a good thing.
Peace.
February 18, 2010 at 12:09 am
Hey, Rocky, a couple of points I have to disagree with. First, your co-founder, Bill W., wrote that a person is an AA member when that person says so, not when Rocky says so. He didn’t say much at all in regard to what constitutes a “good sponsor”, and many who knew him well mentioned that they didn’t believe him to be a good sponsor. Is someone a good sponsor because Rocky says so? If so, what are the qualfifcations? You are right about one thing, though-as a recovered alcoholic, I don’t believe in controlling other people. I’ll take it one step further. I don’t believe in standing idly by while vulnerable people are being subjected to the predilictions of the indoctrinated. As has been mentioned elsewhere, AA meetings have much in common with McDonald’s. No matter where you go, there you are.
February 21, 2010 at 5:25 am
rocky,
if you concede to persons attending AA meetings as “different and insidious” & “unhealthy AA dynamics”, then why do you label critique of such “anti-AA ranting”? cognitive dissonance much, rocky?
i have “my way” whether or not you acknowledge its efficacy or appropriateness. you have hot air & platitudes.
agitation,
speedy
October 26, 2009 at 1:10 am
true rocky.
AA is not a safe haven.
October 28, 2009 at 2:57 pm
How about “The right to turn down an AA request”.
Part of the problem is that controlling oldtimers and sponsor/ life coaches tell new people to never turn down an AA request. No one knows who started it or why, it’s just automatic. Most of what happens in AA is automatic and never questioned, this is the programming. AA is a safe haven from reality.
October 28, 2009 at 3:25 pm
Always turn down an AA request. Then, get a new sponsor/life coach. Better than that, do without either.
December 22, 2009 at 3:26 pm
From page 64 of AA’s Big Book. We listed people, institutions, or principles with whom we were angry. Invariably we get the list of persons right….but we never touch on the notion of resentments towards institutions and principles. It is not that AA didn’t work, but rather…….that WE never tried it. If you want to spend the rest of your life resentful and angry….keep doing what your doing. It’ll work.
December 22, 2009 at 7:49 pm
Thank you for advice Kevin. I will give the respect it deserves. keep typing tough.
February 22, 2010 at 10:58 pm
Thank you so much for your proposal. Your twelve rights bring a little sanity to the insanity that unfortunately can be found whenever a group of people come together and try to solve a difficult problem. Many people find AA meetings to be nothing more than a program in brainwashing. However, it is a program that has helped many alcoholics and drug addicts find sobriety. This is no small accomplishment. The nature of addiction is complicated. Ultimately, it is up to an individual to decide what course of action to take.
February 24, 2010 at 5:28 am
donna,
i’m not trying to be sarcastic or contrarian here, but how do you reconcile “Ultimately, it is up to an individual to decide what course of action to take” with a-of-a’s first tradition:
“Our common welfare should come first; personal recovery depends upon A.A. Unity.”
‘individual action’ is by definition subordinate to ‘common welfare’ in the grand scheme of things when one submits to the tenets of the a-of-a. more to the point, ‘individual decision-making’ & ‘individual action’ are anathema when it comes to the practice of 12X12.
i apologize with all of my heart & soul if that little bit of deductive reasoning ‘insulted’ you or cuda or ma. it’s that damned self-centered intellect of mine running roughshod all over that thoroughly hypothetical millions of peoples’ sobrieties again.
on second thought, maybe i should be ‘tearing a new asshole’ out of your vague & thoroughly unsubstantiated “helped many alcoholics and drug addicts find sobriety” assertion. wouldn’t that be more in keeping with the blog’s raison d’etre, ma?
it puts the lotion on its (sober) skin,
speedy
February 24, 2010 at 1:19 pm
The first tradition is the only one which corporate AA (yeah, cuda, the REAL AA, the one that sues its own members and perjures testimony regarding Wilson’s purloined copyright) pays any attention whatsoever to. Court slips, two-hatters, TV ads,non-alcoholic members, and celeb spokespersons all defy the spirit, and letter of the remaining traditions.