I can tell you from first hand experience that Canadian beer is like moonshine, but good gawd almighty, these first two stories are ridiculous:

Here is a fun story from Chipman, New Brunswick, about an AA who fell off the wagon. His name is George Chisholm, but in keeping with AA’s tradition of anonymity, we will just call him “George C”. Apparently, George C got liquored up and felt up a couple of strangers in an apartment complex. An AA apologist might explain this away by saying the reason this happened is because he was not working the steps. That might explain why God was not helping George C, but it seems like he could looked out for poor gals who got molested.

Not to worry. George is back in AA.

_____________________________________________________________

Another Canuck, Tracy Wood, got liquored up in a Kingston, Ontario bar and started showing his ass:

“Scott described to the judge how Wood came up behind the woman, placed her in a bear hug with his arms pressing against her breasts and ground his pelvis into her buttocks, announcing “I love you.”

He then slid one of his hands down the front of her shirt, grabbed her breast and pulled it out, exposing her to the bar’s customers.

She was rescued from him and Wood was again ordered to leave. But Hunter was told he persisted in his pursuit of the woman. Scott said the second time he captured her in a bear hug and professed his love, however, he slid his hand down her pants and managed to fondle her buttock before the bouncer on duty intervened and freed her.”

What better place for him than Alcoholics Anonymous, where he has been attending since his meltdown.

_____________________________________________________________

In Florida, a cold-case murder investigation has concluded in the arrests of two people, one of whom is an AA who did not quite find the serenity that was promised to him in the steps. Between dealing prescription drugs to an undercover agent, John M was killing people at the time he was attending his AA meetings.

_____________________________________________________________

In Anderson Indiana, one of the newest members of AA is a check forger named Sarah Peters. I mean, what better place to treat thievery than with a quit drinking group. Right?

_____________________________________________________________

Over in Pennsylvania, an up and coming politico is a check forger and chronic drunk driver. Oh, and he is also a member of Alcoholics Anonymous. This isn’t the most flattering profile for a politician, but they say that any publicity is good publicity. Good luck with the election, Kevin H!

_____________________________________________________________

In California, a woman in AA has been arrested for sexually assaulting her own son. The AP did not report her name in order to protect the kid, which is fine for AA. They are an organization of attraction, not promotion.

_____________________________________________________________

In Kentucky, John H attacked and snatched a purse from a woman in a restaurant parking lot. He was rewarded with a membership to his local AA Chapter. Now, I have a couple of groups, and I wouldn’t want a purse snatcher to belong to either of them. Of course, our criteria for membership is a little more narrow than “a desire to quit drinking”.

There you have it. A couple of perverts, a child molester,a murderer, two hot check writers and a purse snatcher. These are but of few of latest members of Alcoholics Anonymous across the U.S. and Canada. AA is riddled with people like this, and you never know what you will find when you walk into a meeting. Check any police blotter in Anytown, USA, and you will find people on a weekly basis punching their get-out-of-jail-free card by accepting a membership in AA.