MA usually fields this family of posts, but I’m feeling particularly frisky today.
Because I could actually articulate my questions & concerns when I came into AA (hospital detox, 6 weeks of in-house ‘rehab’, 4 weeks outpatient, medical treatment of pancreatitis & bleeding ulcers, etc., before finally saying, “Okay, I’ll check out these goddamned meetings!” to a therapist), I got tagged with the ‘angry guy’ label pretty early on. I also heard ad nauseam:
“Ain’t nobody too dumb for this program, but there are some people too smart.”
The intimation clearly being that in exercising your rational mental energies when evaluating 12X12 dogma rather than “acting as if” or simply accepting on faith the literature, the lexicon, the absurdity of the whole ‘program’ process, your big old pride-filled brain was going to lead you back ‘out there’. And ‘out there’ was, invariably, “jails, institutions, & death.”
There’s that time-honored AA placard that has “Think Think Think ….” [what the period at the end of the ellipsis signifies is anybody’s guess] printed on it in that cheesey gothic font. Usually that placard is displayed upside-down. The implication being, your thought process is upside down.
AA/12X12 is so vehemently anti-intellectual that I could probably spend the rest of the evening listing slogans that insist you not trust your own rational capabilities.
But fuck that.
And fuck AA. Because I am neither jailed, institutionalized, nor dead — and still too smart for it. I’m thankful to be self-aware enough to have a pretty good idea of my own limitations these days.
We’ve all heard the expression, “drunk & stupid”. In the rare case that AA works, it effectively removes only the ‘drunk’ part of that expression.